In this, what VanityFair.com calls
“The British Version of Tina Fey’s Bossypants” Caitlin Moran talks about
pregnancy. “How to be a Woman” talks about why society thinks that women have
to be pregnant. This piece talks about why society gives off the impression
that women lose value if they do not have children. Lives of men and women
before and after pregnancy are also discussed throughout. Ms. Moran talks about
a specific time when being interviewed for her work with Naked City. At a young age of eighteen years old, an age that many
would agree is too young to have children, Ms. Moran was asked if she wanted to
have kids. However, she saw it differently. This question was perceived to have
subtle undertones hinting at an alternative meaning. According to Caitlin the
way this question is often asked actually means, “When are you going to f*ck it
all up by having kids?” Women who do not give birth are sometimes seen by
society as less intelligent. “Mothers can graduate with honors from Harvard,
while the best the childless can manage is a high school equivalency diploma.” If
you are a women you are suppose to have children; that’s the way it has always
been, and that’s the way it should be. If you do not have children then what
are you doing? These are questions that society has not always subtly asked
women. Old age is seen as the barren wasteland of infertility among women.
However, old age is a sign of wisdom, temperance, and fortitude among men. Men
can have children and still have their career completely intact. Men without
children are never seen in this skewed vision as women are. Catilin Moran also
talks about life with a child. If a woman does succumb to societies pressure to
have a child or simply wants to have a baby, everything seems to be put on hold.
“Having children is hard work-a minimum 18 year commitment at full throttle;
followed by another 40 years of part-time.” Ms. Moran talks about these issues,
and backs them with personal experience. Motherhood is different for everyone.
People handle issues differently, and in turn experience different outcomes. Motherhood
is still very uniquely similar to each situation, and I personally wish not to
go through this rigorous “sink or swim” style boot camp that is parenting.
Overall, Moran does bring up some good points that I agree with, women choosing to have kids or not, but I do think that there are some major aspects that she does not throw in, and that’s Legacy and life moments.
ReplyDeleteI think that leaving a legacy is very important and one way to do that is by having children. Having children is one of the few chances where you get to pass on your values and beliefs on to someone, they’re essentially a continuance of you. Without having children your values and beliefs die with you, not to be passed on any further. I also think that with having children, not only values continue but so does your name. A hundred years from now, when we’re all dead, if we choose to have children their children will continue on your name, and with that so does the history of you, your parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so forth.
I also think that women don’t “F*ck it all up by having kids” because even though you may sacrifice this or that you get to have very rewarding life experiences that only parents get to have. Who doesn’t want to send their child on their first day of school, go to their competition, concert, event, or that family vacation? It’s these priceless moments that should remind us of what sacrifices our mothers made for us, and to decide (both mothers and fathers) if we are willing to make these same sacrifices for our possible children. This is why all that sacrifice is worth it, so that you can have your own flesh and blood succeed and do amazing things
*I also refer to fathers as well, to show that they also play a huge part, and make big sacrifices too, which I think Moran doesn’t give enough credit to
Even though Moran is not asking, and probably doesn’t want to know, but I definitely do wish to have kids in 10 or 15 years. Overall, if you want to have kids or not, more power to you, but my main point is I think Moran is looking at the negatives of parenting and not focusing more on the positives that there are.
It’s been really great reading all of y’all’s comments and posts, I’ll see y’all later today in class.
Overall, I agree with Moran’s argument that it should not be treated as an essential part of a women’s life for them to have children, or that it is what their lives have been leading to the entire time. If a woman wants to have children, then that is fine, but if they don’t, whether it’s because they feel like children will get in the way of their goals or if it’s solely because they consider it a burden to raise children, then their wishes should be respected by society. However, I disagree with her belief that just having children automatically screws up any potential a woman has in life. While having children can hinder some people if they have greater long-term goals that is not the case for everyone. Some people look forward to having children, and have the means of raising them while also pursuing other personal interests. By saying that having children ruins a woman’s potential, Moran is saying that women are only useful to society when they don’t decide to have children. This argument could also result in women who do want to have children possibly being discouraged due to it telling them that they will no longer be important members of society. Moran assumes that most, if not all women are like her when it comes to this issue, resulting in an argument that encompasses all women despite not all women sharing the same beliefs or being in the same situation. While it is not good to make women believe that they need to have children at some point, it is also not good to make women believe that having children will automatically ruin their lives and take away their potential.
ReplyDeleteI truly agree with what you have said but what I don’t agree with her is the fact that men aren’t pushed as much as women are into settling down and having kids. Yes women are more influenced and honestly to them it probably feels as being forced to have children because of society but men are very much influenced by the people around them. Many men go through it with their families specificly mothers and grandparents wih the typical questions, “when are you getting married and have kids” even though it is not put out there as much as women it is still there. I feel as if this ties back to “The Death of Pretty” because women are influenced to want to be “hot” by society and most of them have fully gone through with it and exposed themselves to be “hot”, however when society throws them hey when are you having kids they get all worked up about it. If you are going to let society influence you in one way why not let it do it completely?
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