No gender roles, only gender purposes.

Terry Crews and Paul Theroux are both touching on similar aspects of one subject: What does it really mean to be a man? They both elaborate on the ways that they feel “manliness” has been mislabeled and twisted throughout the years, stating that being a man now means to aspire to be “stupid and unfeeling”. By stating this, Theroux is presenting to his audience that he feels men no longer have to feel confined by their preconceived gender norm of being tough and stoic, and should now be able to have the freedom of expressing their emotions and troubles. Crews addresses this topic as well when he uses the example of his son- he states that he is raising his son to be unashamed of feeling fear, and that feeling this doesn’t make him any less of a man. He feels all men should not only teach their son this, but learn from him and not feel like any less of a man for having natural human emotions.

Both Crews and Theroux are responding to the uprising debate of feminism, and the fear it has placed on some men. Some men fear feminism because they have the common misconception that “feminism” means all woman are to be held as “better than men”, which is not the case, and both Crews and Theroux touch on this. Crews states the truth to all skeptical men, and tells them that feminism is simply all genders being held equal. Due to this, Theroux feels that men should not be afraid of feminists, but instead, fight alongside them, for men too “have justified grievance” due to being held to such high standards of “manliness”. Because feminists fight not only for women gender norms to be lifted, but men’s as well, these unrealistic standards for men would end and men could be unashamed to admit that they have fear and emotion, just like any normal human being.

The “They say” that both men are conversing with is society stating that men should be masculine and stoic, and women should be emotional and girly. Or that men should bring home the bread, own their wives, and be the one “with the pants”, while the woman takes care of the kids, cleans the home, and does as her husband says. Both Crews and Theroux believe these “they says” to be ridiculous, for “there are no gender roles, only gender purposes”.  

Caitlin Moran and Societies View on Parenting

In this, what VanityFair.com calls “The British Version of Tina Fey’s Bossypants” Caitlin Moran talks about pregnancy. “How to be a Woman” talks about why society thinks that women have to be pregnant. This piece talks about why society gives off the impression that women lose value if they do not have children. Lives of men and women before and after pregnancy are also discussed throughout. Ms. Moran talks about a specific time when being interviewed for her work with Naked City. At a young age of eighteen years old, an age that many would agree is too young to have children, Ms. Moran was asked if she wanted to have kids. However, she saw it differently. This question was perceived to have subtle undertones hinting at an alternative meaning. According to Caitlin the way this question is often asked actually means, “When are you going to f*ck it all up by having kids?” Women who do not give birth are sometimes seen by society as less intelligent. “Mothers can graduate with honors from Harvard, while the best the childless can manage is a high school equivalency diploma.” If you are a women you are suppose to have children; that’s the way it has always been, and that’s the way it should be. If you do not have children then what are you doing? These are questions that society has not always subtly asked women. Old age is seen as the barren wasteland of infertility among women. However, old age is a sign of wisdom, temperance, and fortitude among men. Men can have children and still have their career completely intact. Men without children are never seen in this skewed vision as women are. Catilin Moran also talks about life with a child. If a woman does succumb to societies pressure to have a child or simply wants to have a baby, everything seems to be put on hold. “Having children is hard work-a minimum 18 year commitment at full throttle; followed by another 40 years of part-time.” Ms. Moran talks about these issues, and backs them with personal experience. Motherhood is different for everyone. People handle issues differently, and in turn experience different outcomes. Motherhood is still very uniquely similar to each situation, and I personally wish not to go through this rigorous “sink or swim” style boot camp that is parenting.

Why You Shouldn't Have Children

In author Caitlin Moran’s article, “Why You Shouldn’t Have Children”, she goes into detail about her opinion on how society views women. She feels that everyone is constantly asking women the same question, “When are you going to have kids?” It concerns her that this seems to always be the question women are asked. People seem to think that women need to be planning their baby-making ahead as if that is all that their focus should be on. That women should hurry up and get married and start making babies before their bodies get too old and they are unable to make a baby. She herself was even asked in an interview when she was eighteen, “Do you want to have kids?” As an interviewer herself she never even thought to ask that question, let alone care for that matter. But more and more often, her editor asked her to find out the answer to this question that everyone seems to be dying to know the answer to. She noticed that no one ever seemed to care what men’s answer to this question was. As if this didn’t apply to men at all. She feels that women shouldn’t have to drop their whole lives to make a baby just because everyone thinks it what their duty is as a woman and so they should hurry up and get on it. She thinks the darker hidden question women are really asked is, “When are you going to fuck up your life by having kids?” She then goes into detail about how hard motherhood really is, how mothers often reevaluate their decision to become a mother, and how women shouldn’t feel the need to rush into motherhood because they think they have a time clock. Women shouldn’t panic and have to drop their whole lives, as far as work and free time, to become a mother when they are not ready. Or so Moran thinks. I personally feel that she had good evidence to support her claims. Woman shouldn’t feel the need to rush into having a baby because of what everyone else thinks. That is a tough duty, you should take on that duty in your life at a time that works perfect for you physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Why You Shouldn't Have Children

            In chapter thirteen of Caitlin Moran’s memoir “How To Be a Woman”, she discusses the constant pressure society puts on women to reproduce. One of the most common questions all women get asked is  “When are you going to have kids?”, and as a reporter, who has interviewed several celebrities, she knows first hand how often this question is being asked. I believe Moran’s main argument is that women shouldn’t have children just because they are feeling the pressure from everyone around them and their ticking biological clocks. With women reminded of their ticking clocks constantly Moran believes that some women have babies “just in case” and later ponder if they would even “have kids at all”. Moran states that before she had children she used to recycle, donate to charity, and call her mother often, and after she had children all of that went to a halt. To me she doesn’t necessarily regret having her children, but wonders if knowing how much of an impact it would make on her everyday life if she would have still had them.

Moran wants women to know that it is not ‘vital’ for them to reproduce. She wants women to know that it is their choice, and if they happen to decide not to have children it is not ‘selfish’ of them as society would say.  Moran mentions that society often views women who are ‘childless’ as ‘rangy lone wolves’ and that they are ‘as dangerous as teenage boys’, and I would have to say that before reading this I didn’t understand why some women chose not to have children. Moran definitely backed up her claims, and has changed my outlook on women who chose not to have children.

Baby Makers

            In the article “How to be a Woman” by Caitlin Moran, she goes in to a very detailed description about society’s view and stereotype on woman. The first question interviewers and reporters always seem to ask is “When are you going to have children?” whether its in the beginning or the end that questions always pops up. But she says the truth is that they aren’t at all actually curious in whether you’re going to have children or not but in fact when are you going to “fuck it all up” by having kids? When are you going to throw away your life and ambition just because you have a child? However males never get asked this question, but why is that? She suggest that men can pretty much carry on and continue their life as normal even though they had a baby but woman its all over for them apparently. With out having children you serve no purpose and people are just going to judge you for not having a child because “women love babies”. Moran even gives examples of her own pregnancy, she said “I would have happily shot the worlds last panda in the face if it made the baby cry for 60 seconds less” that’s a big statement! Maybe having babies isn’t its all cracked up to be? She lived off of ready meals, stopped recycling, kitchen was always a mess, and she even said if her own mother had died she probably wouldn’t have even noticed.  Moran does adequately support her claims with evidence. She uses a lot of examples from her own personal life such as when she has been interviewed or her friends. She goes on to explain why the lessons taught from motherhood can be taught elsewhere and how having children isn’t really all that necessary because they’re are “plenty of babies being born “and not everyone needs to be having children because they feel pressured. Even though Moran hasn’t said anything actually positive about having children I don’t think that that was her point at all. I believe she’s saying that there is more to woman than just having children. Having babies isn’t all woman are good for!

Why You Shouldn't Have Kids

Moran discusses society's need for woman to reproduce and that once you reach a certain age, children should be the only thing a woman is concerned about. The way she sees it is that society has a sick obsession with women settling down and starting a family without realizing that some women do not want to start families and have children. She says that some women feel their purpose on earth is to work or go to school or be a celebrity and do not want to give any of this up. The view society has on these types of women is that they are doing their life the wrong way or are just plain weird. Moran says that what everyone is really saying when they ask "When are you going to have kids?", is "When are you going to ruin everything you have worked for and start a family?". Another topic on this that she discusses is that people consider these types of women to be selfish, which is in fact wrong. These so called "selfish" women could be the ones to end world hunger or find the cure to cancer which does not sound selfish to me at all. Moran says that if anyone had any common sense at all, we should be telling these women to stop having children because "First World babies are eating this planet like termites."

I think that Moran adequately proves her point with her evidence because women in this day and age should not be expected to have children whatsoever. Like Moran says, there are plenty of women who will continue to repopulate the earth with their children and there should not be a need to force women who do not want kids, think they need to submit themselves to this at minimum 18 year commitment. Women have the right to decide what they want to do with their lives and some are just not open to becoming maternal like society would like them to. Some women have high powering jobs that they do not want to give up because they believe they are doing something good already with themselves and Moran does an excellent job in explaining why.

Dinner for 2

On a Thursday night around 6:30 pm, Archbold and Chaudhry meet up at Root Cellar Café.  They make small talk to get to know each other a little bit; it is formal as well as pleasant.  They are seated at a table near the window and they continue with their get to know each other conversation.  They then over hear on the next table over, a sleazy man make a crude comment about a waitress who is wearing a very low cut top.  They both roll their eyes in disgust.  The flashy and now offended waitress walks up to their table to take their orders.  Chaudhry orders the spring salad with fresh strawberries and a glass of mineral water.  Archbold goes for the rib eye steak with side of asparagus and a glass of red wine.  Once she the waitress leaves, Archbold explains how the waitress was asking for it.  If she didn’t want a man to objectify her, she should have covered up to project innocence.  Chuadry agrees with him and says that some men are just animals and thankfully more men are becoming less like that.  They continue on this topic about how the media has produced terrible celebrates that each gender looks up to.