Terry Crews and Paul Theroux are
both touching on similar aspects of one subject: What does it really mean to be
a man? They both elaborate on the ways that they feel “manliness” has been
mislabeled and twisted throughout the years, stating that being a man now means
to aspire to be “stupid and unfeeling”. By stating this, Theroux is presenting
to his audience that he feels men no longer have to feel confined by their preconceived
gender norm of being tough and stoic, and should now be able to have the
freedom of expressing their emotions and troubles. Crews addresses this topic
as well when he uses the example of his son- he states that he is raising his
son to be unashamed of feeling fear, and that feeling this doesn’t make him any
less of a man. He feels all men should not only teach their son this, but learn
from him and not feel like any less of a man for having natural human emotions.
Both Crews and Theroux are responding
to the uprising debate of feminism, and the fear it has placed on some men.
Some men fear feminism because they have the common misconception that “feminism”
means all woman are to be held as “better than men”, which is not the case, and
both Crews and Theroux touch on this. Crews states the truth to all skeptical men,
and tells them that feminism is simply all genders being held equal. Due to
this, Theroux feels that men should not be afraid of feminists, but instead,
fight alongside them, for men too “have justified grievance” due to being held
to such high standards of “manliness”. Because feminists fight not only for
women gender norms to be lifted, but men’s as well, these unrealistic standards
for men would end and men could be unashamed to admit that they have fear and
emotion, just like any normal human being.
The “They say” that both men are
conversing with is society stating that men should be masculine and stoic, and
women should be emotional and girly. Or that men should bring home the bread, own
their wives, and be the one “with the pants”, while the woman takes care of the
kids, cleans the home, and does as her husband says. Both Crews and Theroux believe
these “they says” to be ridiculous, for “there are no gender roles, only gender
purposes”.
I think that men’s speaking out against other men has shown a sign of serious progression in society. I think that feminism is too harsh of a word; it puts off the characteristic that these female feminists are man hating single women. I will regrettably admit that this is the exact thought that crossed my mind when the word feminist was said as well. However, I have learned that this is not the case. Feminists fight for gender equality and justice. If men continue to suppress women we could miss out on an Oprah, or a J.K. Rowling. If people in general are suppressed a Davinci, or Michelangelo may be gone as well.
ReplyDeleteTerry Crews mentions a mindset being the issue to most of these problems that feminist are trying to break free from. This overpowering masculinity that men have has started to make them feel superior. Women are viewed as objects rather than equals, and that is the problem. Currently we are fixing this problem similar to, as Crews puts it, “Cutting a tree down by the branches.” Crews’ “so what” argument is this. What if it was your mother? What if this happened to your sister? What if a man took advantage of your daughter? Is there still a “bro code?” Is still the woman’s fault for what she was wearing, saying, or doing? I don’t think anyone would think so, and that is why it is such a strong “so what” statement.
Crews and Theroux tackle the same issue of gender norms, but from different sides. Both of these men relate back to the mindset that is being brought on both genders by society.
Theroux talks about writers in particular, but can be translated into genders as a whole. Men feel that they always have to be the epitome of manliness. This obviously creates issues because this makes men feel that they have to be “stupid, unfeeling, obedient and soldierly.” This mindset represses men’s natural human need to express emotion or to “let it out” and can cause mental issues later down the road. As I mentioned above, if this suppression of what is considered “girly” may lead to suppressing the artwork of the next Michelangelo or the Billionaire author J.K. Rowling.
Both Crews and Theroux discuss what it takes to be a man and how to be a man. Both of their "so what"'s are, to me, very similar but very different. Terry Crews discusses the characteristics of a man and his struggle to become a man and how he finally found himself after realizing he had been trying to please everyone else instead of accepting himself for the things he could and could not do. He had to stop himself and do a reality check when people would come up to his wife and talk about how awesome it must be to be married to him and she did not have the reaction everyone else was expecting. Theroux talks about how he hates "being a man". He hates what everyone makes it out to be and he hates what people say about his "unmanly" career. He disagrees with his own gender norm and wants people to recognize that what he is doing is not "unmanly" at all. He says it is truly appalling to be “manly” in his opinion.
ReplyDeleteI believe both authors, Crews and Theroux, have a generally same understanding of the “they say” in the things they are speaking about. With Crews speaking about how society sees men who show emotion and free themselves by admitting they are scared. While Theroux speaks about how it is hard to be a man in society where so much is expected of you and it is often not talked about in the society today. Because both authors understand the they say I believe they both are agreeing on the so what that these manhood gender norms need to be changed in order to go along with the equality movement that is occurring in real life today. Crews has a good point that he is not allowed to be the tired and weak one or his whole manhood is questioned but if this could be changed, and being a house husband was seen as socially acceptable, then the men who crave that lifestyle or are socially ok with taking on a new gender purpose would be able to relax and come out of their shells. Theroux agrees with this and adds on how many see manliness means belittling women and as long as the boys grow up thinking this behavior is what truly makes a man a man nothing in society will really be able to thrive. So I believe tied into the larger scale of things both authors feel like there has to be an ideal and perspective change before the real ethical change can take place.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you are saying pertaining to the authors’ conception of what the “They Say” means. Both males and females should be able to express themselves freely without having to fit into their gender roles. Crews goes into stronger detail about how males don’t show their feelings and emotions as freely as females do. Crews describes why males don’t show them because of the way they were raised. With the personal example Crews presented about how he raises his son, it gives you a better understanding as to why male parents raise their sons in a specific way. As Crews says it would be “better for my son to express his true emotions,” rather than to force him to be a strong, tough guy. Theroux also relates to a man being emotionless and dislikes being a man because it is a tough job to live up to the title of being a successful dad and man. Both Crews and Theroux discuss what being a man is like, I believe that their “so what’s” are the same because they describe in detail that being a man is not what it is all meant to be. Theroux takes hard judgmental comments every day because of his career, which leads to him hating being called a man. Both authors also agree that the meaning of being a man can differ from one man to the other. A change in the true meaning of being a man would have to occur first so that way society of today can realize that not every man has to live up to the hype of being a man. Some men could be weaker and show how they are truly emotional but they can still call themselves a man without them being called unmanly.
ReplyDeleteCrew and Theroux both relatively have the same “so what.” I would have to say that crew does a better job at explaining gender roles. He talks a lot about feminism and mentions that he believes that women should be held equal to men. Another thing he talks about is that men are trained by their dad, a parent, or peer, that they have to be and come across as strong. They also say that men have to be tough and cannot appear weak. Crew goes on to say that this is not necessarily okay. Both authors have the same general agreement that society continues to set gender norms. Crew goes on to say that if people remain silent about any situation, then they are basically saying that they accept the situation. He says that in order for a change to be made, people need to not be “quiet” and stand up for what they believe in. Theroux also mentions in his article that he has a clear objection on how society turns boys into men. Both Crew and Theroux have the same general idea about gender equality, and have the same general views about the subject. In conclusion I would have to say that the “so what” portion of the video and article relate drastically to the larger conversation. How is this the case? This is the case because both authors want gender equality and both think that society needs to change the way we view men and women’s roles.
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