In author Caitlin Moran’s article, “Why You Shouldn’t Have
Children”, she goes into detail about her opinion on how society views women. She
feels that everyone is constantly asking women the same question, “When are you
going to have kids?” It concerns her that this seems to always be the question
women are asked. People seem to think that women need to be planning their
baby-making ahead as if that is all that their focus should be on. That women
should hurry up and get married and start making babies before their bodies get
too old and they are unable to make a baby. She herself was even asked in an
interview when she was eighteen, “Do you want to have kids?” As an interviewer
herself she never even thought to ask that question, let alone care for that
matter. But more and more often, her editor asked her to find out the answer to
this question that everyone seems to be dying to know the answer to. She
noticed that no one ever seemed to care what men’s answer to this question was.
As if this didn’t apply to men at all. She feels that women shouldn’t have to
drop their whole lives to make a baby just because everyone thinks it what
their duty is as a woman and so they should hurry up and get on it. She thinks
the darker hidden question women are really asked is, “When are you going to
fuck up your life by having kids?” She then goes into detail about how hard motherhood
really is, how mothers often reevaluate their decision to become a mother, and
how women shouldn’t feel the need to rush into motherhood because they think
they have a time clock. Women shouldn’t panic and have to drop their whole
lives, as far as work and free time, to become a mother when they are not ready.
Or so Moran thinks. I personally feel that she had good evidence to support her
claims. Woman shouldn’t feel the need to rush into having a baby because of
what everyone else thinks. That is a tough duty, you should take on that duty
in your life at a time that works perfect for you physically, mentally, and
emotionally.
I agree that when women are asked about having children, they are being asked “when are you going to fuck up your life by having kids.” What I took out of the essay was also what you explained, but also that it is okay that there are women who would not want, or do not have, children altogether. Knowing that Moran talked about this in her chapter, is just as important as having children when you are ready. She expresses that even if you are not reproducing, there are people all over the world who are. Yes there are valuable things you learn as a parent, but there are countless other things you could learn from the world. Towards the end of the chapter she says, “We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people.” Women are more than baby making machines. Men that did not have children are not being criticized and were not criticized in the past either. Why should it be different for women? Times have changed and it seems that people want to keep the same views as people from decades ago. “In the 21st century, it can’t be about who we might make, and what they might do, anymore. It has to be about who we are, and what we’re going to do.” Yes, you should wait until you are ready to have children, which should be respected, but not having children should be equally respected option.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your point. I have never been asked in any interviews if I would like to have children, or whether marriage is even in my future. Society is still clinging to old fashioned norms that require women to be married and have at least one child. This is odd, since society seems to want men to not be married and live a bachelor life. There are constant double standards within our society, be it from men who have a lot of sex are respected while women who have a lot of sex are called sluts, or even the whole marriage aspect. The whole point of having children is to raise them into adults who can take care of our world, not to just shoot out a child whenever society tells women to. Today, I hear horror stories about parents mistreating children, simply because they do not have the patience to deal with a child because they were not ready to bear children. Our social norms need to change, because women are not settling down for marriage as much as they did in 1950, they are instead pushing for more career opportunities and have become a prominent part of the workforce. In this essay, she does point out the fact that at least one pair of people in the world is reproducing, so the species will not die out if one couple does not have children.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a majority of your blog but a specific part I disagree on is the reason you believe Caitlin Moran is frustrated with how much society wants or pressures women to have children by a certain time. The thing I felt caitlin was focusing her frustration on was that women shouldn't have to feel pressured to have kids if they don't want to, not because of becoming a mother when they are not ready to. Since a majority of people believe motherhood teaches something you can't learn somewhere else, the author explains how you can easily find the same traits by doing other things in life. A part of the article that supports this statement was when Caitlin Moran said, “Yes, you could learn thousands of interesting things about love, strength, faith, fear, human relationships, genetic loyalty, and the effect of apricots on an immature dishes time system. But I don't thing there is a single lesson that motherhood has to offer that couldn't be leaner elsewhere.” She explains a lot throughout the article that you don't have to have kids at all if you truly don't want to. She also goes on to say how some women never even think about having children until someone asks them about “when they are going to pop one out”. I agree how she does say at some parts of the passage that women may not be emotionally, physically, mentally, or overall ready to have kids by a certain age so they should be pressure to but I just don't agree that was her main point throughout the article. By the way I liked reading your comment, it made me see the article a little differently
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